Should you accept gifts during the ambiguous period?
I can hardly handle the decency of men and women in ambiguity at the present stage. A few days ago, the little sister sent a message in the group saying that a big outrageous event had come this year, and the boy who had failed in the affair had sent a message saying that he could return the gift given to her some time ago, although it was a bit shameful, since it was impossible for two people, I still want what I gave her back. Leaving aside the first reaction we saw, previously on Synchronize is also necessary.
The little sister and the boy, who have known each other for less than a month, were introduced. In the end, I only went out to eat two or three times. I didn't know much about it, and I didn't have the feeling of being moved as soon as I came up, but the little sister mentioned that I had a good impression of him and that if I had more contact, I would have a chance to be together. But when he went out for dinner for the third time, the boy asked directly if he could be together. It was a little fast, so the little sister sincerely said what she meant and wanted more time to get to know each other. As a result, she waited for a day, and the other party said that she didn't know how to deal with herself. So the two of them let it go, and the next day, they received the message that they wanted the gift back.
This kind of thing is not that I excused my friend. The necklace was only about 1000. When I went out for dinner, I invited one person to a meal without taking advantage of each other. Of course, the gift was returned. The label was not taken off, and the freight was not let out. Directly, a city courier went by. We joked that such a thing as yours, posted on the Internet, has to be a hot silent event. It is also a little distressing that this boy's future ambiguous partner may receive a "second-hand gift". Later, I wondered, should I accept or not to give gifts in the pursuit stage? Originally thought this is a very simple matter, people want to give it away, pick a time to return a gift on the line, but now it seems that this matter is not that simple. I asked some of the boys around me, and their views were different: some people said that if I did not accept a gift, I would feel that she was not interesting to me and that she would keep her distance from me, even if I gave her one for another. I will also have this feeling, you know, that is, she is very clear that I do not want to owe you anything. Some people say that, in general, according to experience, if a girl accepts a gift, she will like me, or acquiesce that our relationship can move forward.
I think this is a hint. Some people also say that it depends on what is sent. If it is a very small thing, such as a bouquet, it is a normal way to express affection in the pursuit stage, and it is no big deal, but if it is a thing of high value, there may be a certain expected value, hoping to "get" something. Have you found that different people have different definitions of gifts and different expected values? What I usually encounter is that many girls have a "sense of guilt" and "guilt" about accepting the goodness of others. The performance of this type of people in daily life is that they carry everything on their own, do not want to ask for help, and do not want to be seen as vulnerable. Even if you are in love, you will not take the initiative to ask for anything from the other party. You will certainly do what you can do by yourself, and you will not say what you want. If the other person does not do it, you will sulk in your heart, which is completely internal friction. It's the same with me. It's hard to accept the goodness of others calmly.
Before I knew a boy, he gave me a lot of small gifts, such as bookmarks, flowers, coasters, thermos cups, coffee and so on, all of which were small things that were accepted without pressure, but I still felt very sorry, so I told him directly. I know what you mean. We can get to know each other first, but you don't have to give me a gift. I will feel very embarrassed. After a few euphemistic refusals, he said to me, "you don't have to take it to heart. I like you, so I want to give you these things. I bought these things when I saw that they were suitable for you." I just thought you were worth it. You can give it a try and accept the good of others calmly.
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Although we were not together in the end, I still think I got something from him, maybe I love myself more, maybe I am more willing to open myself, maybe I believe that I deserve to be loved. Sometimes I think that love depends on luck. If you are unlucky, you may meet strange or even strange people. If you are lucky, even if you don't get to the end, you will be able to find better each other in the process. In the final analysis, ambiguity is indeed a difficult practical problem, which requires a strong sense of size and different coping styles, otherwise, you do not know what you have done, which determines the direction of a relationship, good or bad. Finally, I hope everyone can have a decent love experience, and we must not meet the kind of "chicken thief" boys like my little sister, because they will use your "embarrassment" to achieve their own "zero cost holding".