Who are you to decide what I look like?

1.

I was very dark when I was a child.

is the kind of black and skinny, which is often given various nicknames at school. At that time, I envied the white-skinned girl, who came from afar like a ray of light. Also wearing school uniforms, the eyes of praise always rest on the beautiful girls with white skin.

the girl I play with is very beautiful. Every time I go out with her, adults praise her how beautiful she is. Then she turns around and glances at me, saying very perfunctorily, you are also very cute.

 at that time, people around them had a very simple and straightforward aesthetic standard: big eyes, small faces and white skin, which was as mean and strict as a test score. At that time, when talking about a girl behind her back, we must start with her appearance. If she has single eyelid, deduction points, large face plate, deduction points, black skin, more deduction points.  
  this kind of trial standard is like a new type of "social virus". Starting from our small circle, it slowly spreads to all the people in the neighborhood. Gradually, this slightly morbid and single requirement criticizes everyone for running in one direction.  

too many people are not satisfied, set various standards for themselves and only do what most people agree with.

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2.

I studied in an international high school abroad. When I was nearing graduation, I asked a senior foreign teacher in the school to be my reference. When talking about his impression of me, he said he always thought I was very beautiful and looked healthy. I laugh at myself that it is probably black, but no one will think that a girl with dark skin is good-looking. He was surprised to say, I don't understand why you letting others' standards to limit yourself!

  later, his sentence was always on my mind. The translation of that sentence means: I don't understand why you should let other people's standards limit your appearance.  
 

I watched the movie Billy Eliot before, in which there was a scene: when everyone disapproved of little Billy to learn ballet, and even Billy himself was about to give up, Billy saw a letter from his deceased mother, the last sentence of which was, "Always be yourself!" Always be yourself! )

in fact, we are always unconsciously swayed by others. Under our uncontrollable concern, we always have to wonder what other people will think if we do so. Will others not like it? Will others disagree? We focus on shaping ourselves as a "perfect image" that everyone loves, and to be a standardized "perfect" person in the living environment. But people, ah, are always inevitably flawed and inadequate. When you start to criticize your own "imperfections" with other people's standards, you just miss out on these shining things that really belong to you.

3.

Rosamund Pike came to Shanghai to promote her film lost Love, when she told the media, "I wonder why everyone in the street is staring at their mobile phones, as if they are seeing the world through their phones."

We always look at ourselves and others in weird ways, setting standards one after another through mobile phones, through social software, through other people's eyes, and through some extremely unfair demands.

We always forget that we are the only ones who can see ourselves clearly.

this charismatic "Bang girl" even ignored the words of the outside world and resolutely declared at the media conference: please call me Pei Chunhua in the future. I don't want a third party to use the Chinese name translated from English.

such a wise and mature woman, she will always live in the standard she has set for herself. It is precisely in this way that we can feel the charm of a confident woman emitted by her heart.